If I could just close my eyes and float away and never come back? That would be ideal. Just escape the 'mortal coil', and all that. Life is too confusing, with its tangled web of feelings and duties that stretch you thin like gum.
I haven't felt this way in a long time and it happens when I begin to lose hope. When moving forward doesn't seem to be taking me anywhere pleasant. There's just so much work to be done, and still there's no guarantee, you have no idea where anywhere will lead. My feet feel stuck in the mud.
I'm not in a good place and I'm tired of having to feel like I am. To continue a life scrabbling in the dirt is so tiring to me. I suppose I'm lazy. I'm not sure. I just don't know if what I'm doing is paying off at all. I want out.
and I want out quickly, too. I don't look forward to pain or agony; just another light that blips out.
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